Skip to main content

is hell exothermic

I do not know who originally wrote this but it is a classic.

A thermodynamics professor had written a take-home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof.

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.This gives two possibilities:

  • If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
  • Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms Therese Banyan during my Freshman year, 'That it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then the second cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic."

This student got the only A. via.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

this symbol is called a lemniscate, and other facts

The technical term for your foot "falling asleep" is "taresthesia". "Pins and needles" is really called "paresthesia". Great Britain has invaded about 90% of the world's countries. There's a brand of hand sanitizer called "Maybe You Touched Your Genitals". There was a hoax that the world was ending in 1806 because someone wrote "Christ is coming" on eggs, that were later stuffed into a hen. Gary Numan is actually 13 days older than Gary Oldman. There is a word in the English language with only one vowel, which occurs six times: Indivisibility. Los Angeles's full name is 'El Pueblo de Nuestra la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula'. Polyamorous people have invented a word to indicate the opposite feeling of jealousy - compersion. The Macrocilix maia moth confuses predators with wing patterns that mimic two flies eating bird poop. It even releases a pungent odor to drive home the dec
Post a Comment
Read more

abort, retry, ignore poem

The infamous Abort, Retry, Ignore message box of Windows, with no option given to close it. Found this classic and fun poem about the "Abort, Retry, Ignore" message. I have been able to trace back the source to Annoyances.org. Here it is: Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary, System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor, Longing for the warmth of bed sheets, still I sat there doing spreadsheets. Having reached the bottom line I took a floppy from the drawer, I then invoked the SAVE command and waited for the disk to store, Only this and nothing more. Deep into the monitor peering, long I sat there wond'ring, fearing,
 Doubting, while the disk kept churning, turning yet to churn some more.
 But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token.
 "Save!" I said, "You cursed mother! Save my data from before!"
 One thing did the phosphors answer, only this and nothing more,
 Just, "Abort
Post a Comment
Read more

an inflating flashbag

This is a flash drive. A flashbag, more accurately. When it is empty, it is slim and as data is filled into it, the bag starts to inflate until it is full. How ingenious! The creators have applied micro- pumps to achieve this, as stated in their site . When the device is about to blow off, it gives a message - "There is not enough free space". At times when it is not plugged in, it remains inflated relative to the amount of data it is holding. There are other innovative products from the creators of flashbag - such as C'ALL future phone , Balloophone , AllTunes , GMEA , Trings and Remobeads . Great, PlusMinus ! Kudos to your grey cells.
3 comments
Read more