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Here are some memorable jokes shared by Colin Quinn in his show Long Story Short : On History: You ever notice how history is just a series of guys who say, ‘I’ll take care of it,’ and then make it worse? History is just a bunch of stuff that happens, and then we look back and say, ‘Yeah, that was totally predictable, except we had no idea. On Civilization: The Egyptians built the pyramids. Then, 2,000 years later, we come along and go, ‘Hey, nice work, fellas. We’re gonna do a bunch of stuff, then just leave it here to rot.' We started out in caves and then we built cities, and now we’re back to living in apartments where we don’t even know our neighbors. On the World’s Empires: Every empire falls because the people at the top start getting crazy. And you know who’s always the first to notice? The people at the bottom. That’s why every empire falls to peasants and slaves. They’re the ones going, ‘This guy’s a lunatic! Who made him emperor?' On the Fall of Empires: Empires alwa...