Skip to main content

fun letter from 1909 & other jokes


And now some fun with the arrival of April Fools's Day:

First, here's a funny letter from 1909:
_______________________________

"I am arrive by passenger train Ahmedpur station and my belly is too much swelling with jackfruit.

I am therefore went to privy.

Just I doing the nuisance that guard making whistle blow for train to go off and I am running with 'lotah' in one hand and 'dhoti' in the next when I am fall over and expose all my shocking to man and female women on plateform.

I am got leaved at Ahmedpur station.

This too much bad, if passenger go to make dung that dam guard not wait train five minutes for him.

I am therefore pray hour honour to make big fine on that guard for public sake. Otherwise I am making big report to papers."
____________________________________

Next up, is a generous letter from a neighbour:
______________________________________

Dear Charlie,
We've been neighbors for six tumultuous years.
When you borrowed my snowblower, you returned it in pieces. When I was sick, you blasted Metallica. And when your dog decorated my lawn, you laughed.
I could go on, but I'm not one to hold grudges. So I am writing this letter to tell you that your house is on fire.
Cordially,
Harry.
(Submitted by Edward Phillips, Boynton Beach, Florida)
_______________________________________________

Further, we have a piece of information that most guys should relate to:
_______________________________________________

What's the difference between stress, tension, and panic? Stress is when wife is pregnant, tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and panic is when both are pregnant.
____________________________________

One more - a lesson on similar sounding words:
_____________________________________

A young boy asks his dad, "What is the difference between confident and confidential?" Dad says, "You are my son, I am confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential!"
________________________________

And this one too, about a man who goes to buy a parrot:
____________________________________

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one.

The man asks, "How much is the yellow one?"

The assistant says, "$2,000".

The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive.

The assistant explains, "This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast."

"What about the green one?" the man asks.

The assistant says, "He costs $5,000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes".

"What about the red one?" the man asks.

The assistant says, "That one's $10,000".

The man asks, "What does HE do?"

The assistant says, "I don't know, but the other two call him boss".

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

abort, retry, ignore poem

The infamous Abort, Retry, Ignore message box of Windows, with no option given to close it. Found this classic and fun poem about the "Abort, Retry, Ignore" message. I have been able to trace back the source to Annoyances.org. Here it is: Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary, System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor, Longing for the warmth of bed sheets, still I sat there doing spreadsheets. Having reached the bottom line I took a floppy from the drawer, I then invoked the SAVE command and waited for the disk to store, Only this and nothing more. Deep into the monitor peering, long I sat there wond'ring, fearing,
 Doubting, while the disk kept churning, turning yet to churn some more.
 But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token.
 "Save!" I said, "You cursed mother! Save my data from before!"
 One thing did the phosphors answer, only this and nothing more,
 Just, "Abort...
Post a Comment
Read more

this symbol is called a lemniscate, and other facts

The technical term for your foot "falling asleep" is "taresthesia". "Pins and needles" is really called "paresthesia". Great Britain has invaded about 90% of the world's countries. There's a brand of hand sanitizer called "Maybe You Touched Your Genitals". There was a hoax that the world was ending in 1806 because someone wrote "Christ is coming" on eggs, that were later stuffed into a hen. Gary Numan is actually 13 days older than Gary Oldman. There is a word in the English language with only one vowel, which occurs six times: Indivisibility. Los Angeles's full name is 'El Pueblo de Nuestra la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula'. Polyamorous people have invented a word to indicate the opposite feeling of jealousy - compersion. The Macrocilix maia moth confuses predators with wing patterns that mimic two flies eating bird poop. It even releases a pungent odor to drive home the dec...
Post a Comment
Read more

pan-himalayan railroad

Chinese press is flooding with the news of China’s newest engineering feat – the completion of a railroad linking Lhasa (Tibet) with Eastern China. The country is celebrating this key achievement while the western press is once again applauding in awe and giving out mixed speculations. For example, this photo story contains some lines: “There are fears the railway will speed up the immigration of ethnic Chinese into Tibet, threatening its distinct cultural and religious identity.” “Tibetan groups and foreign critics say the railway’s real aim is political, as a symbol of China’s administrative and military control over a contested border region.” “...............................................” “..............................” All I can say about such statements is that leading people from China will undoubtedly laugh down these types of comments made by western media companies. This task in itself is a great combination of hard work, intellect and brotherhood, which in itself is a s...
Post a Comment
Read more