deft definitions

Consultant: A man, who borrows your watch, tells you time and then sends you a bill.
Literature: The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is not read.
Humour: Anything that makes you laugh but the finest sort draws a tear along with the laugh.
Critic: A legless man who teaches running.
Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell, in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Kindness: A language which the dumb can speak and the deaf can hear.
Conference: A gathering of important persons who singly can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Banker: A fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
Economist: An expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.
Statistician: Someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.
Programmer: Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.
Mathematician: A blind man in a dark room look for a black cat that isn’t there.
Topologist: Someone who doesn’t know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.
Lawyer: A person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a brief.
Professor: One who talks in someone else’s sleep.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

get into free sites without registering

one poem that makes your english better

the three laws of intellectual motion