in an extremely efficient governance

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?"
Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."

Operator: "I must have your NIDN first, sir?"
Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, it's 6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Email address is sheehan@home.net. Which number are you calling from, sir?"
Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the HSS, sir."
Customer: "The HSS, what is that?"

Operator: "We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time"
Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."
Customer: "What? What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it."
Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."
Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99."
Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."
Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn also."
Customer: "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."
Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a 'cycle?"

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday."
Customer: Well I'll be a "@#%/$@&?#!&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2004 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge." & "Oh yes I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?
Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 litre of Coke".

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!" via.

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evening at the restaurant

In the afternoon, my friend and I had a conversation over the phone to meet at seven at a restaurant nearby. Since I arrived early, I decided to take a table.

It’s evening now. I’m sitting in a cafe at Koteshwar. The girl across the table is seated with a confused-looking fellow, who might be in question, a worker at a local furniture-maker. They speak with a low voice, look at each other and leave.

I take a few sips of the liquid the restaurant calls coffee. I think whether my stomach will get upset over this issue. I take a quick glance around, only to see the dissatisfied faces of some waiters. Are they underpaid? I try not to think over their financial inadequacy. Suddenly my friend enters view.

He is a vet, and a most polite fellow. He talks with reason, and gives his personal point of view in most cases. Just as he gets seated, he mumbles a comment about a waiter’s face, “Is he underpaid?”

How much I’d like to know!

Our conversation turns towards cost-estimation for running a restaurant. We start with the available floor space, the number of tables, the size of kitchen, the count of waiters, the decoration and of course, the menu itself! Our conclusion: it takes a minimum of $15,000 to call a restaurant restaurant, otherwise we’d be running something else in the name of a restaurant.

Suddenly a solemn-looking man on the next table stands up and comes towards us. He puts down his files on our table, pulls up a chair and says, “I’m waiting for the owner here, to settle his debt of this restaurant.” Delighted, my friend asks the amount, on which he curtly replies, “around $ 15,000.”

The vet looks at me and gives me a twisted wink!

Technorati Tags: upset stomach,upset creditor,running a restaurant,restaurant cost,vet at a restaurant,a vet and a writer,the fifteen thousand dollars,dissatisfied waiters,missing owner,evening at the restaurant